The day finally came to watch the australian football league (which took place at the spore polo club). even though it fell on my bday, it didnt matter so much to me as much as the chance to see genghis again. i could not believe that even though i thought i had finnaly gotten over him, my heart still beat very fast whilst i was on my way to the polo club!!
i had thought that i had been strong enough to face him again and that it wouldn't bother me so much but he made me fumble when i saw him.
i had tried to remain calm and be nonchalant about it but i just didnt know what to do.
i could have stopped and turned and acknowledged him but i was too afraid that he would be a jerk about it and giving me the do-i-know-you look. i wasn't too sure if he had noticed me but i had the feeling that he might have. i know he had seen me.
of all those times that i did not notice me, he would be the one who would notice me first. take the club for example (where the first time i laid my eyes on him - well, he was the first to come to me) i hadnt notice him if he hadnt come to me, then the airport incident - where he was waiting for someone (and that was a couple of weeks after i met him, which btw i hadnt recognise him till he spoke abt it while we were 'together') and i was in my uniform and he had noticed me, and they are so many incidences that he would noticed me first before i noticed him!
my point is. i should be kicking myself. i sent him a text message today - i told him that i had thought that i had finally gotten over him but that all i really wanted to do when i saw him (at the polo club) was to run to him. Worst! i told him i was missing him! but all his reply to me was .. "when did you see me?" aargh!! don't tell me that u havent noticed me! i practically walked infront of you!!
come to think abt it, when i went to the polo club, i had dressed according to what he would have liked. i let my hair down, i wore my looped earrings, i carried the bag he gave me and i even had his watch on me! i really am having trouble getting over him am i not?
to think that i had dated for a year and that we had shared so much in those span of time and the fact that i still remember that he said "life's been better since i met u ox" still plays in my mind.
sometimes i wonder if he ever thought abt me and wished we were like what we used to be...
oh well.. i will let time do its magic. i just cant wait till the day that i woke up and go "what the hell took me so long to stop thinking about him!"
till then... i live in misery - pinning for someone who does not even think about me!